This is Day #2. Day #1 was pretty easy. I rented some DVDs, went shopping and just pigged out all night and watched two comedies, then crashed.
Today, well, it’s dark now and my body, especially my lungs, are calling for the 1-6ish or so smokes they’ve had for 19 years. I’ve smoked less, I’ve smoked more, like a pack a day when working on a film or two, or drinking at a long party or bar stint. But I’ve always been able to not smoke during the day, and survive on one a night, or even skip a few days.
But I’ve never quite for more then a month without cheating at least a little.
Right now I’m freakin’. The addiction is system wide. The 200ml of sustained release Wellbutrin, strategically taken to be at full force from dark to bed, is being out flanked. It is after all a simple second generation something inhibiter, basically a stimulant. The addiction, the nicotine in my cells, the psychological need to take breaks at parties, meet fellow smokers, think, rebel, are deeper.
The addiction are like rebels in a country the Wellbutrin and my brain is trying to attack. The only way to win is to starve them out. The brain has all the control! It can go shopping, it cooks! Hahahahahaah. Addictions can’t cook.